’Tis the season for stressed out family members, over-crowded shopping malls and traffic pile-ups for hours to wait. Or is it?

The holidays don’t have to be stressful. As a reminder, while we cannot control the situations around us (nor the people), but we can choose our reactions to it all. A bit of planning and self-awareness can be all we need and the key to a healthy, happy and stress-less holiday season.

1. Learn to say NO

It’s ok not to commit or accept every invite just because it’s been offered. When we overextend ourselves too others — I’m talking to the people-pleasers in the audience — we can become exhausted, resentful and bitter. In a time we’re aiming to be filled with joy, it’s important that we place that effort to be happy first on ourselves, and then offering to others.

If you’re someone who always feels inclined to say “Yes” to an invite, try this strategy next time. Before accepting, give yourself some space to think on it before committing. Say, “thank you for the kind invite. Let me check, and I’ll get back to you.”

Be sure to follow up. The key here is when you’re not on the spot, it may be easier to recognize when you’re over committed and for you to say “thanks, but no thanks.”

2. Exercise

Movement is always good to destress, and boosts that naturally occurring, feel-good hormones that leave us feeling happier and free. Plus, when we set aside time to exercise, it’s time that we’re dedicating to ourselves. This helps to value our time, our worth, by being good to you, above all.

A friendly reminder: pack a filtered water bottle or refillable bottle with you to keep hydrated before, during and after your workout.

3. Stay connected with those that make you feel good

Being around others that make you feel valued, appreciated and accepted being authentically you is important always. However, it’s particularly needed this time of year. Here’s why.

Around the holidays, certain family members or friends can cause stresses, or emotional triggers. You know, the ones that really know how to push our red buttons. In those moments, knowing you have one of your “grounding” friends to reach out and connect with can remind you you’re not crazy, and someone’s comment about you is simply an opinion. Breathing, long inhales and exhales can help too, and a way to self-regulate your stresses.

Staying connected to hose that make you feel good will remind that you’re perfect just the way you are, so stop over-analyzing every interaction and relationship.

4. Eat in moderation

The holiday dinner is a main-stage at our celebrations. However, the dinner is just that: one meal. Know that you will eat again, there will be leftovers, and another celebration in the next day, or two, or week ahead to eat again.

Breathe between bites, sip alkaline water between each forkful, and be thankful not just for the food, but for the company surrounding you too, leaving you feeling fulFILLed in every way.

5. Drink in moderation

Same as above, you will drink again. And, again. Balance each drink with two glasses of water, keeping your alkaline glass pitcher in close arm’s reach. This helps to keep your calorie count down, hydration levels high, and mind at ease. Too much alcohol can create more anxiety and stress than ease it.

6. Let go of expectations

So many of us have an idealized version of what a perfect holiday should be. Let go of the “shoulds” and remove your mindset from the Hollywood example of the story tale holiday. Instead, take in what you have created, be present, and being grateful for what is in front of you. Know that no perfect holiday exists, only what you make of it.

7. Limit social media exposure

It can be too easy to see someone’s Instagram feed take you down fast. The post of the new car their husband just gave them, the new tablet a friend got, or your friend’s engagement ring that shines brighter than the star atop the Rockefeller Christmas tree. And, all you got was a sweater, a gift card and a lousy mug with your name on it (whine).

If you know you’ll be triggered by what you see on social media, or find yourself beginning to compare: shut the phone off, remove the app, or put your phone on moon or mute. Then, look around you and think of three things you do have and are grateful for. Focus in on those things that you do have. That is real, and instead of comparing it to someone else’s highlight social reel, focus in on your real life.

8. Create a holly, jolly playlist

When all else fails, there’s music. Make a playlist filled with songs that you know will boost your mood no matter what. It can be holiday or festive music, but doesn’t have to be. Something that you just have to get up and dance to, singing, smiling and being the merry you you know you usually are.